Fuck Your Jetta Issue #0: Origin

There is only one thing that Fuck Your Jetta has in common with the large automakers. If you haven't already guessed from the writing over the last four years, it's that it's much more expensive to start from scratch at the drawing board than to simply retool and make something old new again.

Regrettable as it may be, we actually do believe it's necessary to some degree to work a branding angle. Why should you choose Fuck Your Jetta over all of the venerable ye olde bicycle blogues and all of the Johnny-come-lately bikelebrities?

It's been some time since this here weblog was christened. From the very beginning, we have positioned ourselves to become entrenched and embedded in the minds of our blessed readers as invaluable and irreplaceable. Because of this we know that it would be unwise to potentially forever lose your interest because of a sudden name change, we have kept our original moniker.

Like an automaker though, we will attempt to retain your attention with a shift in what we produce by keeping the name that floods your brain with endorphins, already synonymous with quality, ethics, passion, and style, but pointing toward our new design.

We don't have anything to sell you though. No reason to trick you. While we are turning a corner, we believe the name of this blog continues to be meaningful and stands for what we believe in. It it not with a little shame that we admit that the original conception contained within it not a little rancor toward and using some ugly -isms (or -ismes, rather), and it is this we wish to purge and lay our politics on the table.

It won't be completely free of -isms, but we are choosing our poison and making clear our position, as we think it's cowardly and unpatriotic to murkily bury intention and use this confusion to attempt to draw in those drawn to flash, buzz and shiny things.

The name of this blog is a criticism and condemnation of entitlement.

Main Entry: en·ti·tle·ment
Pronunciation:ɛntaɪɾəlmɨnʔ
Function: noun
Etymology: 1942, United States

Merriam-Webster: belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges
Wiktionary: A perceived right to demand. Opposite of a gift, in that it is without appreciation. A "you owe me" obligation for which I owe nothing in return.
(extended from: a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also funds supporting or distributed by such a program.)

The emblem of this entitlement has always been and continues to be the Jetta.

Main Entry: jet·ta
Pronunciation:ʤɛɾə
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural: Jettas
Etymology: 1979, Volkswagen trade name, German: from jetten - to fly, jetzig - current; Middle French: jeter - thrust, throw; Latin: jacere - throw, cast

1: automobile family and mid-range car positioned to fill as an upscale saloon/sedan niche, produced by German automaker Volkswagen since 1979.

You might be saying to yourself that it appears that this is classist. We will agree to a degree both that it is and that classism is generally offensive, not to mention unhelpful to those not offended, as it's often simply upending the entitlement table and then racing for the scraps on the ground. With lots of caveats, we will stick with this and try to draw you in toward our target, as we have not forgotten that we are talking about riding bicycles on the road.

Per Wikipedia (from which we based our definition above), in terms of marketing, the Jetta was designed to be sold to families who were "upscale", which we have interpreted as the upper end of the middle classes and above. As the very poor and the very rich know, money does by and large buy you a voice and certain privileges. At these extremes, money is so great a factor in your figurative and literal placement on the American map that you rarely forget about it. Food stamps and yachts have you rubbing elbows with familiars more often than not.

Moving toward the middle however, is those who've never wanted for anything. It was not a question of whether you would eat, but what and where and when and how much; it was not a question of whether you would go to college, but which one you would go to and how many degrees you would pursue; it was not a question of whether you would drive and have a car when you were of age, but rather which one and how long following your 16th birthday.

This is intended as a metaphor, and hopefully it's not difficult to see where this is going. Beginning with the idea of a Model T in every garage and the attempt to make personal motor vehicles accessible to the majority of Americans, continuing after WWII through the creation of the suburb and the exurb and all other places easily or exclusively accessible by car, to the creation of the Interstate Highway System in the 50s suggestion you not only can but should as a matter of government initiative drive everywhere. Following this the heyday of Detroit and Motown, both of the wild increase of the ranks of the middle classes via massive American manufacturing, and not incidentally the idea that the car is the very seat of American life (from the drive-in hamburger stand to Motown Records legendarily recording music so that it would sound good in a car, knowing how many actual life hours were spent in them, from the experience of the Motor City) to the oil crises and auto manufacturing busts suggesting that access to fuel was a right and not a privilege, that making fewer cars or someone else making them was a threat to American ideals, and leading us to where we are now: several generations past the point where the motor vehicle is woven into the very fabric of every part of American life.

Those generations only knew cars; to those generations, the road isn't even a right, but simply is. There is not another way.

Quite simply: Fuck that.

This is what the Jetta is emblematic of, and this is what Fuck Your Jetta means. The actual car was originally incidental, noting first that on a block in a freshly gentrified neighborhood 25% of all cars parked on the street were of this model. We will admit that we are biased against all expressed and implied entitlement of the kind discussed above, as we find it personally obnoxious and offensive, and given the intended marketing thrust of the manufacturer of this vehicle and the unscientific and anecdotal observance of the intended market (including our friends and families, residents of our neighborhoods, and members of our own communities), we have taken the Jetta as our symbol.

We truly wish no ill and do not judge the drivers of any particular car nor of anybody based on their real or perceived socioeconomic class. In fact, we do not discriminate against drivers for driving at all, and we hope you do not. It's with giddiness even that we count ourselves among those fortunate enough to live in such an excellently bikeable as Philadelphia, where it's not only possible but easy and most often a pleasure to ride nearly anywhere, and that's not in any small part because Philly drivers are generally tolerant and respectful of cyclists.

We discriminate against drivers based solely on their behavior, and we hope you do as well. Similarly, it is for this reason we have adopted, or rather coopted the Gadsden flag for our masthead. Loathe to use any militia symbols and imagery as we are, the flag can be traced to local patriot Ben Franklin, and we find the subversion of a symbol so revered to something as peaceful and unmilitaristic as bicycling. In essence, it really means resistance, a rejection of subjugation and a call to arms of those invested with ideals , which is exactly what Fuck Your Jetta's all about.

So patriot, shall we ride?